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Reader’s Mail: My Parents Won’t Let Me Marry My Hausa Fiance!

Dear Readers,

I happen to find myself in a terrible situation . My parents who I love so much and have the ultimate respect for have threatened to disown me and make sure that none of the family members attend my wedding or even associate with me ever again if I go on and get married to the love of my life who happens to be a Hausa man.

My parents happen to be strict Christians and church elders.We were brought up to be God fearing, love people no matter the race or religion.
I was totally shocked when they told me that I couldn’t get marrried to my fiance because he is Hausa .

I told my parents, because he is from the North doesn’t make him a Boko Haram, but they would not listen. I tried to explain that he is from a royal home in Kano, and moreover we met in the States, and he is not capable of such evil act, but they still refused to consent.

They sighted the example of the ‘Mutalab guy’ and said they will not as much as trust any Hausa person again. How shallow can they be but I’m determined to damn the consequences and stick to this guy.

I’m not ready to trade my love for my parents’ perception.
Am I making a wise decision?

30 Comments

30 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 8:30 am

    First up is he a muslim? He is from a royal family in Kano so I'm guessing he is a staunch muslim. See ehn leave this 'love' thing listen to your parents.

  2. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Also I'm sure you know that if he is a muslim which I think he is after you he will marry 3 more women? You know that right?

  3. JimCaddy

    July 2, 2013 at 8:48 am

    Well I think she knows the consequences of marrying a Muslim as she might not be the only wife. But if that is what she wants she can go ahead but if not she should listen to her parents.

  4. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Listen to your parents. Yes parents are very annoying but they almost always have a point. Besides you need your family no matter what. What if something happens tomorrow who are you gonna call? Who's gonna stand by you? You need your family. We young people always want to do gragra and prove that we're enlightened andd educated. My dear be wise and think of tomorrow. Love never stands alone. It always has children. You love him but there are so many other factors to consider. Trust me love is the least of your problems. Goodluck girl!

  5. Hafsat Damcida

    July 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Listen to ur heart and trust ur gut in what so ever the case u r the girl in love and u knw what u want when u doing something u really wnt to do then u shld keep dought aside.remember everything has d good and d bad put this solution on a scale and see which is mre to ur heart ok. Wish u all the best

  6. ij bby

    July 2, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Ure already determined to damn d consequences n stick to d guy wat more do u want frm us eh?

    I've spent d last 12 yrs in d North infact in diff states in d North so take it frm me wen I tell u to walk cos its d best decision u'l ever make in ur life!

    I love Hausa pple o dey r far better dan pple frm d east n south in terms of honesty and humility BUT never make d mistake of marrying a muslim cos u'd wish u were dead!

    I can't state all d reasons here but u'd b doing ursef n ur family a lot of good by quitting dat r/ship. Cos even if u marry him chances r u might not get to see ur family ever again cos a staunch muslim hausa neva wants a xtian inlaw around him/them! They take u convert u n dump ur family! U'd live a miserable n lonely life.

  7. PurpleHart

    July 2, 2013 at 9:15 am

    Love doesn't know religion tribe or race. Girl that choice is tough and no one can make it but you. In as much as I'll advice you to follow your heart family is important too. But at the end of the day what you should most certainly do is have you own happiness and interest as the Numero Uno. All the Best.

  8. Austin Uche

    July 2, 2013 at 9:23 am

    people be thinking that love is d only criteria for marriage but wen u end up marrying d love of ur life without checking sum very vital excesses and heartache and hypertension frm too much finking start to creep up d love go leave u there travel go kafanchan… Let us always respect and apprecuate our beliefs and culture and religion and our life before u decide to start damning consequences.

    Hausas and plendy muslims are gud and honest and straight forward people but wen it cums to marriage ideals and beliefs differ…. Sister think am twice o !

  9. Omalicha KayJay

    July 2, 2013 at 9:41 am

    Dear just listen to your heart…when it comes to love certain things shouldn't matter but that doesn't mean you shouldn't think with your head…you're a Christian so take it to GOD in prayer…I believe there'll be a way out of this and all parties involved would be happy

  10. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 10:05 am

    No matter how educated a hausa man or woman is they neva change their beliefs or attitudes t every thing. He might seem educated nd polished bt he will neva throw away his values.I grew up in d north nd still live in d north. Take it from forget it.shekinah

  11. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 10:52 am

    Use your head dear and ask God for wisdom.

  12. EDDIE~SYFAR

    July 2, 2013 at 10:59 am

    How sure are you dat he does not already hav a wife back in his state. And are u ready to become a muslim.

  13. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 11:08 am

    If u disobey ur parent n at d end there is problem u will face it alone so be wise.

  14. Oluyomi Odukoya

    July 2, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    I'd implore you to think twice…. Hausa muslims aren't as tolerant as their yoruba counterparts.. And they hardly marry only one wife..

  15. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Baby I beg u in the name of God pls quit that relationship. Maybe cos uve not lived in d north for u to know how mad u will be a few months after marriage. Who cares if u met in d states if u like meet in d sun. When u get to kano u go hear weeen. + he is a royal blood too. No work for u no going out u go hate urself. U will just be a baby making machine. If he is decieving u that after d wedding u will go back to ur USAjegunle na big lie ooo. Even if u succedd na juju dem go take call u back. What has light got to do with darkness??? Think about it baby…

  16. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    u have already made the decision u come dey ask for advise but come oh can i marry an hausa girl?hahahahahaha i dont see that happening yoruba girls are still manageable now let the abuse rain.

  17. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    You're are a fool so what if he' a muslim. I don't understand why you have to comment when you have nothing sensible to contribute.

  18. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    @Anon 8:30 now this is something reasonable not like the crap you wrote

  19. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    Pls state it lemme hear u

  20. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    God bless U well spoken

  21. Anigbo Kingsley

    July 2, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    my sister is like choosing from hell and heaven….marrying that man will be the biggest mistake of your life……make you throw away that love thing and face the reality…..they can never change oh whether in America or in space….think well well oh….

  22. gloria sharon

    July 2, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    Shey you have heard all their advise abi? Na naija we dey so we know every!Like all things love fades away but family remains forever so you better reason with your brain & not your heart bcos in the nearest future what your parents are trying to save you from WILL happen! Use your brain!

  23. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Hey listen you bigger fool anonymous 08.30 should not be insulted for his personal views. You got yours say it but dont insult anyone on this thread. you have been warned. I have your IP address and you will be blocked the next time you try this rubbish.

  24. Anonymous

    July 2, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    I would not do that if i were you. I WOULD NOT DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.
    Now sit down and go through all ALL the messages here on this thread. count those who have lived in the north and are giving you advise. count the ones telling you to follow your heart. pray again and make up your mind. marriage they say is for life o.

  25. Anonymous

    July 3, 2013 at 6:51 am

    My name is Constance. Do not!!!! Birds of the same plummage will eventually go home together!!! Are u ready to be a muslim and a northerner??? And have 3 co-wives in the nt too distant future? Well a word is enough for the wise! Do not be a fOol

  26. Anonymous

    July 3, 2013 at 7:39 am

    Very true

  27. JJ

    July 3, 2013 at 7:58 am

    The foolish girl is only thinking of the royalty and all the perks that come with. Perhaps her family is not rich and she is looking at marriage to this guy as a way to improve her economic and social standing. If you are ready to become wife number two or three then go ahead. Foolish girl.

  28. OlᵘwᵃDᵅᵐ!lᵒlᵃ

    July 3, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    IJ God bless you for this..
    Hmm omo girl it's berra you walk away before it's too late..

  29. Anonymous

    July 3, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Well said bro.

    Ola

  30. Anonymous

    March 9, 2016 at 8:57 am

    God bless you JJ

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